Hello and welcome back to the drudgery of real life. I hope all of you had a wonderful holiday season! If you have any good stories, feel free to send me an email, Id love to hear them.
As for me, I had Christmas alone in Bangkok which was a lil weird but nothing to complain about. Thailand is buddhist so they dont really celebrate, but all the shopping malls were all decorated so the expats could get their shop on. Thais think Christmas is funny as well, they wear santa hats and take pictures in front of the decorations on the mall being showing the peace symbol like “haha, look at me im celebrating Christmas.” Its entertainment just watching them.
In other news a new record was set recently... I had my first sober New Years for me since I was probably 13. Spent it drinking tea and eating chocolates at my pops secretarys family's house, but more on this later.... Alcohol is illegal in Iran, and besides that they dont operate on the same calendar (its year 1780 something here, and new years is in the spring) so if you were ever wondering where to get your party on for new years, Tehran is not your place.... Oh yeah, and there are ZERO night clubs/discos. You don’t even need fingers to count how many there are – ridiculous!!!
I think after all this sobriety a trip to Belgium for some beers would be in proper order!!!
Anyways, so I went through one million hoops to get a new passport, and boogied out of Thailand shortly after Christmas to Iran. Im half Iranian and half Polish (or American, depending on how you look at it) and I hadn't been to Iran in 13 years. Part of the reason why its been so long is because if I ever came over I would be arrested and taken to the military for two years of conscription. Well, my pop somehow got me out of this so I figured I would hop over and check it out.
I am really excited to write about my motherland!!! For me as a quasi journalist I am really interested in seeing this place and reporting back to you all that I learn. In my opinion Iran is more misunderstood in the world than any other nation, and hopefully in my next couple of posts I will be able to get into the hearts and minds of these mysterious people and dispel so many of those terrible myths blasted across the world by those son of a bitch conservative media.
Well, that is all I have for now. Unfortunately I cannot make any big posts or upload any photos because all I have is a 34kb dial up connection to the internet. I think even a the dinosours had better internet. Some sort of a powerful antenna would really come in handy right about now... Im not even sure if I am properly receiving emails, and facebook is banned across the country so Im lost as to what is going on except for this shit in Gaza. They have black market satelite dishes here and I can get the news from every country in the world. You name it they have it (Italy, Russia, Ukraine, Uzbekistan, Kuwait, Dubai, Libya, Kazakhstan, Korea, Croatia, Saudi Arabia, Tunisia, Algeria, Turkey, Egypt, Oman, etc...)
Good news is the Farsi is coming back slowly but surely which maybe is a problem because I think in one ear goes Farsi, and out the other one goes Spanish... I have no idea how some people keep track of 5 or 6 languages. I dont think my mind is built for it.
I still have a post to write about some really crazy stuff in Hanoi, Vietnam, so hopefully I will be able to find a good connection one of these days and get that out there for you all now that you are back to work and have plenty of free time to read when you are falling asleep reviewing R014s, PTRs, ECPs, parking tickets, Delta stuff, MSG HR payroll, boat insurance, tech manuals, dragging anchors or whatever it is (same stuff, different name...and all of it is boring).
Oh yeah, another record was recently set. I have admitted to myself that I have to get back in the game relatively soon. I have slept in chicken coops and have managed to keep spending to a minimum, but running out is bound to happen. I think Iran is the last country where I will be traveling in, and after this Ive gotta get some sort of a job. I bought a suit and some dress clothes so Im ready to hit the ground running in T minus a couple of weeks. So where I am going with this is that if you know of any good stable jobs with a pretty good compensation package and health insurance I might just be interested. My skills include: bungee jumping, eating snakes bugs and other weird creatures, white water rafting down waterfalls backwards, unskilled high altitude mountaineering, fist pumping till all hours of the morning, sitting on shit African busses for 37 hours without a toilet or a chair that reclines, getting through border checkpoints without enough cash for a visa, overcoming salmonella and 106 degree fevers without dying, having enough patience not to knock out Egyptian hawkers, getting bottles smashed on my headw, shooting Russian machine guns, and at least a dozen others I cant remember right now....
Welcome back - B!